Living in their world

2010 was one hec of a year. It was the year where Alzheimer's Disease really took hold of Valerie.

You have to live in their world, when the disease starts to get worse. If you don't, you won't make it as a caregiver.


Living in their world:


1. We come home and walk into the house. Val says, "There's a fire, we have to get out. There's smoke!"

I ask Val to wait on the front porch. I go in the house. 10 seconds later I come out and tell Val "it's ok Val, I put the fire out, it's safe to go in the house." "oh thank you!", Valerie says.


2. Get Out Your Not My Husband

I leave the house. I keep an eye on Val through the windows to make sure she's ok. I wait about 10 minutes and then call Val on the phone:

"Val I got the things you wanted at the store, but I don't have my house key, can you let me in?".

"Sure. thanks honey!"

It's that simple.

There are variations on those two stories, and it doesn't always work, you need patience too.

My Journal Entry April 20, 2010

On and off I have kept a sort of running journal of Valerie's condition. I rarely have time to post to this blog I created a couple of years ago, but now maybe I have a bit more time to let other people know so if they are in this situation... what we have gone through may help... may being the operative word... 

 Journal entry April 20, 2010

When I woke up this morning Val started saying the word scouts scouts scouts over and over again I thought she meant Boy Scouts

 there was an article on the front page of the advance today about the Boy Scouts and about getting a loan to save their camp pouch

for the first and she was just yelling  scouts scouts I didn't know what to think I was barely awake

Last night while driving home Val said she was afraid of the dark
We just had diner in nj with nana bill and Dianne 

Val keeps talking about twin boys are somehow going to hurt her.. She is afraid...she has brought this up several times over the past few days
 
Took photo of Val in yard 

She was holding a bug repellant device we bought at the store and I told her that is for keeping bugs away from you when we are outside 

She said  " no this this is what will take me home" 

I held her and we talked about going home

Home is where she used to be home is who she used to be. 

 I understand now why she may hoard things.... 

She needs ruby slippers

Valerie's Diary Entry March 2nd, 2010

Valerie always used to keep a diary of her thoughts and feelings. I have been trying to keep a diary of her thoughts as she goes through all that she has to go though.

I'm going to expose a portion of her diary as it is getting harder for all of us to know what she is feeling. This is an invasion of her privacy, but i think it is important to let you all know how she is feeling and what she is thinking about, as it is becoming more difficult for her to express herself the way she used to. When we interact with Val we need to all (myself included) be more aware of what she is feeling...  

She was upset on this day so I tried to find out why... I asked why she was upset... I typed what she said verbatim: 

VALERIE
MARCH 2nd, 2010

" I'm starting to see if...

And I hoping that I can talk to you...

Sometimes nobody listens to me. They never listen. I'm an invisible..

Everybody else yells and I stay in the back
So I stand back and watching instead of living it.

Shut up 

Because everybody around there yelling 

Even when I'm around people I sit back 
Nobody listens... it's not worth it to yell out

I talk about things and they don't hear anything 

They listen in one ear

You don't listen sometimes your not listening to me. (she is referring to me at this point)

Everybody does that.... everybody yells

I know people that I like...
Because they are kind because you can have conversations

They want to hear their own...what they have"

Tuesday march 2nd 2010



I know this may upsetting, however it is the least upsetting excerpt from her diary to date...