Almost everyday Valerie has her favorite food... Chocolate. We give her chocolate kisses, chocolate cookies, chocolate pudding... if it has chocolate, Valerie will want some.
When we give her a chocolate kiss, most of the time, we put it in her hand and she is able to put it in her mouth. No other food has that effect on Valerie's ability to eat. Yes, we have to feed her now. She has a great appetite.
It was Valerie's birthday last month. June 18th. She shares that birth date with Paul McCartney. We had a party and yes, there was lots of chocolate. Valerie loved the chocolate Ice Cream cake and chocolate cup cakes that her sister Ilona brought over. Valerie turned 62 last June 18th.
Two years ago, 2011, on June 18th, Valerie was in the hospital after a bad UTI. When Valerie came out of that hospital, two years ago, she no longer walked. So she has been bed bound for two years now. It doesn't seem like two years, but it is.
The changes in the house since then are major. A hospital bed in the living room. A day bed to sleep on right next to Valerie's hospital bed. A nice recliner for Valerie to sit in during the day. A Hoyer lift. Our bedroom is now one of Valerie's supply stations.
And Valerie's decline in being able to speak with her beautiful voice. That is a profound change. I would give up my right, and left hand for her to be able to talk to me like she used to. That was our whole life, talking to each other.
Every night when we get Valerie ready for bed, there's a lot of turning her on the hospital bed. My bad back is bad. I talk to Valerie and ask her how everyone in the family is doing. How's your Mom Val? How's Alexis doing Valerie? Hey how's your brother Alan doing? (She almost always repeats her oldest brother Alan's name.) How's, Julia, Bill, Dianne, Danny, Geri, Karen, Peter and Karen, Steve, Joel, Kathy and Ken.... etc...
I do this so that Valerie at least hears all their names every day. It also helps distract her from the fact that she needs help getting ready for bed. Something that the most independent person I have ever known, really hates! Every blue moon she'll call my name, "Guy?" I'm right here Val. "oh!" says Valerie.
Last night, another change. I'm holding on to her, as I've turned her on her side. I ask her if she's alright. At this point, Valerie tenderly kisses my forearm. "Val, you kissing me?" "Yes!" For all the heartache I feel on a daily basis, that Valerie has the horrid Alzheimer's Disease, that almost moved me to tears of joy. It was Valerie the way I have always known her, the kindest, sweetest woman I have ever known. That is sweeter than chocolate for me!
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